Tonight's Awful Bedtime Movie: High School Big Shot (1959)

Marv is a total loser who looks like he was put together by a committee, and lives with an alcoholic dad. He also loves the very pretty Betty.

Betty pretends to love Marv, but she really loves bad guy Vince and his just using Marv to get out of writing an English paper. Betty dupes Marv into writing the paper for her. When the teacher finds out, Marv loses his college scholarship.

Wow. Lesson learned about trust. And...what? The movie's not over yet?

Oh, yeah. It gets more depressing.

Marv overhears a drug transaction at the docks. He's supposed to be a really smart kid, but for some reason this dope, still in love with Betty, tells her about his plans to steal the drug money hoping it will win her back.

The cold, manipulative Betty, of course, tells Vince, who plans to rob Marv.

Marv is a moron.

And you'll need Xanax to get through the rest of this.

Marv successfully steals the drug money, at which point Vince successfully robs Marv. Vince shoots Marv's friend. Marv shoots Betty. Marv drops the money into the water. Everyone else flees. Marv gets arrested.

Marv is a moron.

This movie isn't just awful, between everyone dying or going to prison, and its central message of never-trust-a-woman, it's bone-crushingly depressing. This thing makes "Precious" look like "Rocky 4."

Oh, before the movie was released the actor who played Marv died in a car wreck and wasn't found for three weeks. He was considered to be a future star.

Still haven't given up?

The movie stunk even though it was a total rip-off of Stanley Kubrick's "The Killing," released just three years earlier.

What I Learned Today: Most armed robbers started out in plagarism.

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