Gary Coleman is a domestic terrorist

I got an e-mail this afternoon from hysterically bleating about how "Republican officials" were inciting "hate and violence" against Democrats. Along with continuing to flog the since-debunked story about black congressman being slurred and spat on, they also claimed a silent prayer vigil outside a senator's home and Sarah Palin's use of bullseyes to mark targeted districts for fundraising were "death threats." They even claimed the fictional attacks on black congressman were done at the orders of Republican representatives Mike Pence, Tom Price, and Michele Bachmann.

But the crazy got turned up to 11 when MoveOn offered a link to photos of signs at protests they claim were "coded" messages from Republican officials for "racists" to attack Democrats.

This was one of them: sent out a hysterical e-mail claiming THAT is a death threat aimed at Democrats.

Hopefully ObamaCare will pay for their thorazine.

But rather than supply with the phone numbers of board-certified psychotherapists, I've decided to help them root out those behind the tidal wave of terrorists acts that somehow only they can see.

So just who does apparently believe constitute a threat to the United States?


7) Maude. "God'll get you for that."

A clear and undebatable case of Bea Arthur calling for violence.

6) Deputy Barney Fife. "Nip it!"

Obviously a call for dittoheads to kill Democrats. Can't you see it?

5) Marcia Brady. "Oh, my nose!"

ABC corporate executives were giving Republicans direct orders to assault Democrats.

4) Col. John "Hannibal" Smith. "I love it when a plan comes together."

Just what plan is he talking about? knows!

3) Vinnie Barbarino. "Up your nose with a rubber hose!"

A chilling call for the waterboarding of Democrats. Don't argue. That means you're a terrorist too.

2) Ralph Kramden. "One of these days Alice, straight to the Moon!"

"Alice" is obviously another one of those secret Republican code words for "Obama." Vowel-consonent-vowel-consonent-vowel. Can't you see the secret Republican codes!!!!!!

And the mastermind of all the secret Republican death threats that only can see...

1) J.J. Evans. "Dyn-o-mite!"

A bomb threat!

Please help maintain order and quash dissent. If you see one of these former pop culture icons/violent right wing domestic terrorists, please contact the FBI and issue a press release. Do not attempt to make an arrest or seek an autograph.

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